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Post by verdandi on Jul 13, 2011 0:43:39 GMT -5
When I was getting my diagnosis for AS, I talked a bit about my routines and the response I got was that I had an extreme need for them. Does this sound extreme?
I don't remember what I said to her about routines, but it wasn't about this instance - I intended to, but it slipped my mind, like things do. What I did tell her was not quite as intense as this was.
Several years ago, during one of my failed attempts at living independently, I lived in a fairly large house - four bedrooms, plus the basement converted into a living area (living room, bedroom, bathroom). My bedroom was on the middle floor right next to a bathroom.
I used that bathroom for showers and such and during the day it was used by guests and others because of convenience. It was pretty firmly a part of my regular routine.
While I was living in the house, the owner was having it renovated bit by bit - mostly replacing floors, but also tearing out some old fixtures and replacing them with newer fixtures. At one point, they got to this bathroom, ripped out the floor, and no one was supposed to use the bathroom until the new floor was put in and the tiles had set.
And this actually destroyed my routines. Aside from a meltdown from not having access to the shower, I found it very difficult to actually use any of the other bathrooms in the house for any reason. I continued to use that one for some purposes (the sink and toilet) and it probably took me a week before I could bring myself to use the upstairs shower. Not that I was totally filthy or anything - I used washcloths and such, although they weren't sufficient. But I did go the week without washing my hair.
It caused other problems as well that weren't directly related to the bathroom itself, but in terms of my daily routines. Having to use a different bathroom for anything just threw me off, and things got more scattered and disorganized than usual. I wasn't really "fine" until the bathroom was finished and I could use it fully again.
Sort of related, I was receiving a medication via patches last year, and I found it extremely difficult to deal with changing the patches and scheduling baths/showers. I wasn't really able to do much with the patch on and so I tried to insure I'd at least take care of everything when I changed patches. But what would happen is I'd get stuck after removing one patch and spend hours before I actually took care of my ablutions.
Because of this, I stopped using the patches and take pills instead.
I actually do bathe regularly otherwise, just that these situations were really disruptive.
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Post by Lydia on Jul 13, 2011 13:01:38 GMT -5
That's a pretty strict adherence, I'd say.
Me, I wouldn't want to use another bathroom for OCD reasons- they would feel dirty. I don't like to bathe where other people's feet have been. Or sit where another person's bottom has been. Ick. I have trouble letting staff use my bathroom, but I can't very well tell them they can't! Maybe I'll start Clorox wiping the toilet off daily...
I'm trying to think of what routines I adhere to. Hmm... there's always been the lights. At Mom's at night, I'd have to turn one light on, another light off, until I got to my bedroom. If I messed up I had to start over. My day is set by the TV, and if, for example, Iron Chef isn't on at 7pm? Watch out- meltdown!! I have to check my internet sites in the same order every time I sit down to my computer, straight through. Staff knows not to interrupt this. Honestly, lately, I've been trying to mix it up just to keep myself from getting too rigid.
Basically, anything that can be done gets turned into a routine for me.
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Post by verdandi on Jul 13, 2011 13:30:05 GMT -5
Yeah, I do not - as far as I know - have OCD.
I always knew I did better when I had routines - one reason I tried to get into school was because the routines made it easier for me to function (except I'd burn out and drop out, because I didn't know everything I needed to know).
But over the past several years, I've had what seem to me somewhat loose routines - I check all of the same websites every day, but not in the same order. On the other hand, I do need my windows to all be open in the same order, with the tabs in each browser opened in the same order. When Firefox changed how it opened new tabs it ruined my browsing for several days.
My routine lately is mostly get online, then eat lunch, then get online, feed the cats, get back online, eat dinner. I'm trying to work something constructive into that afternoon stuff, like cleaning and making some headway, but it's frustrating. Usually I clean when I really have to, rather than ensure it never gets to where I really have to.
Therapy is part of my routine, too. I have it every week at the same time on the same day (and it took about three months to get my therapist to do that). When we've had last minute cancellations (either because I couldn't get to the office or she was sick) I've reacted fairly poorly. If I have warning a week in advance, I can usually deal with missing an appointment.
And, hmm, I've done a few trips over the past year - if I have little warning I tend to lose my composure and end up not going anywhere. If I have sufficient warning (a week or more) it's much easier for me to deal with.
So I feel like I don't have a strong routine but when things change it I tend to lose it. My routines change over time (I used to play WoW and raid three times a week, but now I can barely stand playing WoW) but rapid changes just don't work.
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Post by Lydia on Jul 13, 2011 14:43:49 GMT -5
I have a routine for each day, but each day is a little different. Like, okay, Mondays I wake up at 9, feed cat, have one hour online, eat breakfast, get dressed, brush teeth, staff comes, go to swimming, swim, fight the evil-get-clothing-onto-my-wet-self battle (truly, it's torturous!), stop at Aldi's, stop at Giant Eagle, come home, put groceries away, feed cat (if she hasn't totally lost it yet while I put groceries away), then make dinner, eat dinner, staff leaves, clean up dishes, go online for about 2 hours, have a bath, take meds, back online for another hour, feed cat, go to bed. During this time, Food Network is on if I'm at home, it's important to note. The only thing that COULD change is that my BSS might come too, any day, in which case we do things mostly the same but maybe play a game or something. I like my BSS, but she kinda throws off my routine Maybe that's her evil ploy? LOL.
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Post by pensieve on Jul 13, 2011 18:56:42 GMT -5
I would have reacted the same way, with more kicking and muttering insults under my breath.
Actually, when we had to share a house with some people and they used the shower before me I got so angry. I used to try and get up earlier than them just so I could shower first. I hate being in a moist bathroom after someone showers - and these people didn't turn on the fan!
I have a pretty strict routine. I separate them into: morning, productive time during medication (usually writing or researching), that time in the afternoon when meds are starting to wear off, feed cats/have dinner/ watch TV, write some more, and then the bedtime routine.
I turn all the lights off in order too, not OCD but if I was I'd never go to bed. I'm strict about what time I go to bed though.
When my routine changes without me knowing first I will just stop and not know what to do. This happened recently when the sci-fi channel decided to show movies instead of Sanctuary and Stargate. And once when I was getting ready to watch Stargate my mum and her boyfriend were watching a movie. I just sat down, unsure what to do and didn't look at them. Naturally, mum thought I was made at her. No. My frontal lobes didn't know where to go from there. Then my primitive brain kicked in and I felt threatened by everything happening around me. And you've heard about my meltdowns when I can't make the food I want to. I just can't begin to look for something else to make.
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Post by verdandi on Jul 13, 2011 19:21:01 GMT -5
When I lived in that house we also had scheduled laundry days, with one day set aside for people to do laundry if they needed to do it outside their usual schedule. There were a couple of people who felt that this agreement did not apply to them, and who would start doing laundry on my day, and there were meltdowns to be had on some of those occasions. Especially when I took their clothes out and put mine in. I mean, if I missed my day at all, I didn't do my laundry at all. The only reason I could get it done was because I had a strict routine attached in the first place, and I just didn't think of it otherwise (before and since, I have had way too much trouble taking care of my laundry).
Oh, and food. The thing that is most likely to make me starve myself after forgetting to eat is when I can't make the food I want. I just get stuck in a loop - I go look around the kitchen, leave, go look again, leave, go look again. Eventually I get someone to drive me to a store so I can buy what I want. If this goes on long enough I can't even eat much of the food people prepare for me - I remember spending two hours eating half of a meal.
I should add that there was indeed some muttering and anger throughout the entire period the bathroom was out of commission.
I remembered what the actual disruption was that I described:
My aunt likes to visit without any warning, or she warns someone and they don't tell me until she's going to arrive, and I just get angry and refuse to talk to her because I can't cope with her arriving without any warning like that. It's not just her, it just happens with her repeatedly. It's happened with several relatives and a few neighbors. I can't cope with people who show up unannounced, people who show up early, and people who show up late.
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Post by Lydia on Jul 13, 2011 19:50:16 GMT -5
LOL Verdandi, when my staff shows up more than 2 minutes either way of on time, I mentally freak out. If it's on the early side, I want to make them stand outside until it's the right time. If it's the late side... well, that can't much be remedied.
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Post by tamsin on Jul 14, 2011 4:03:47 GMT -5
When I was in school I had a certain routine to get ready in the morning. Every so often it would change depending on circumstances (like when we got a new dog I had to alter my routine to let him out in the morning), but for the most part it was the same. Now that I am not in school I don't have a routine because I don't have much that I need to get done everyday, but I remember one time when I was in high school my dad interrupted my routine and I ended up forgetting to brush my teeth before I left for school because I had to change everything around due to him being there (he had been gone for several months). Luckily I had chewing gum.
I also have OCD and have routines in other aspects of my life and I tend to get annoyed when they aren't followed. Especially when I have a tv watching schedule and the tv stations change their line up without telling me. How dare they!
And I cannot stand it when people show up out of the blue. Usually I hide in my room and refuse to talk to them.
However, sometimes my ADD makes it too hard to follow a routine, and those are the days where I usually don't do anything, or, if I do do something, I end up messing it up and then get angry.
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Post by verdandi on Jul 14, 2011 12:43:18 GMT -5
I do this a lot.
This also happens to me.
I also hate it (when I watch television) when the TV schedules change.
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Post by Lydia on Jul 14, 2011 14:07:05 GMT -5
I wonder how much it bothers a typical person if the TV schedule changes? It's cause for a ruined day for me.
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Post by tamsin on Jul 14, 2011 14:56:50 GMT -5
I also hate it (when I watch television) when the TV schedules change. Luckily I have noticed there tend to be certain times schedules are more likely to change, so this makes it easier because I know roughly when to expect it.
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Post by verdandi on Jul 14, 2011 17:07:19 GMT -5
My big problems are when shows are preempted for sports or news events or what have you. Like Lydia says, it's a day-ruiner.
Well, not so much for me lately, I don't really watch television on television.
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